Receiving feedback is an essential part of personal and professional growth. However, it can also be a challenging and uncomfortable experience for many of us. The words we hear, the source of the feedback, and our personal history all play a role in how we perceive and react to feedback. In this blog post, we will explore the art of receiving feedback and how to hear more than just the words that are spoken.
Feedback is often seen as a gift, a tool for growth, and a necessary part of self-improvement. However, traditional trainings on receiving feedback can sometimes miss the mark. As children, we may have received feedback in ways that felt unsafe or threatening, leading to deep-seated emotions and reactions to feedback as adults. It’s important to understand that feedback is not just about what is being said, but also about who is saying it and the personal history we associate with it.
Projection plays a significant role in how we perceive feedback. The person giving feedback may unintentionally trigger emotions and memories from our past, leading to strong reactions that are not solely based on the content of the feedback itself. Understanding the source of our reactions can help us navigate feedback more effectively and with greater self-awareness.
Feedback can also reveal underlying cultural dynamics and power imbalances. For example, feedback that seems neutral or constructive on the surface may actually reflect deeper biases and expectations based on gender, race, or other factors. Power dynamics can also influence how feedback is given and received, with those in positions of authority often having more control over the feedback process.
So, what can you do with all this feedback? First, notice your emotional response and take time to reflect before responding. It’s okay to ask for space if you feel overwhelmed. Reframe feedback as a dialogue rather than a one-way communication, and take an active role in the process. Ultimately, owning the feedback process can help you regain a sense of control and empowerment.
In conclusion, receiving feedback is not just about hearing someone else’s words—it’s about understanding ourselves better and using feedback as a tool for growth. By approaching feedback with self-awareness, curiosity, and a willingness to engage in a dialogue, we can learn valuable insights about ourselves and continue to evolve and improve. Remember, the real gift of feedback is not just the words themselves, but what we learn about ourselves in the process.
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The Art of Receiving Feedback: How to Hear More Than What’s Said was originally published in Better Humans on Medium, where people are continuing the conversation by highlighting and responding to this story.
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